As soon as I logged into Facebook this morning and noticed a trending topic was ‘Video of One Direction caught smoking weed’ I could sense the tidal wave of hysteria that will no doubt consume the group over the next few days, before disappearing as quickly as the ‘missing’ Malaysian Airlines flight MH370. We are all too aware of how this tabloid pantomime will play out: they will issue a groveling apology in the media and perhaps even treat their fans to a fluffy little video on You Tube where they will express their ‘regret’ and ‘remorse’ over their ‘deeply irresponsible actions’.
Then the storm will have been weathered and it will be business as usual for the ‘1D’ boys.
Unlike this non-event of One Direction smoking weed on tour, the highly suspicion ‘disappearance’ of Malaysian Airlines flight MH370 is a real news story, with genuine and worrying implications and consequences, not to mention the potential loss of over 200 lives. Yet stories which are genuinely important to society will likely be subordinated by the ‘scandalous news’ that a group of young millionaires, who are barely out of their teens, are smoking weed whilst on a music tour. Shock Horror.
Perhaps those so outraged by the debauched behaviour of the boy band should seek some marijuana for themselves if only for the medicinal purposes of curing their personality disorder. At least if they got stoned it may shut them for a bit.
In the video, Zayn Malik has on a Bob Marley vest, so maybe the doom-mongers will deduce that the poor impressionable boy of One Direction has been corrupted by the Jamaican Reggae legend’s penchant for smoking pot! Blame Bob Marley for corrupting our youth beyond the grave!
The mind boggles at how quickly these hysterical people jump on the bandwagon and spew out there bullshit psychobabble about how children will be encouraged to indulge in illegal drugs because there ‘role models’ smoke weed. Should the finger of blame not be pointed at the parents? After all, they allow their children to become innocent victims of soulless consumerism by letting them buy all the same banal and bland 1D merchandise, which is, according to 1D band member Tomlinson, a load of ‘boring bullshit’.
Yet the comments sections all over social media are filled with delusion rants from ‘furious’ parents who insist that One Direction are ‘role models to millions’ and so should not be engaging in such ‘disgusting and illegal’ behaviour. Don’t worry, though, once the doom merchants have vented their spleen on this ‘issue’ they will calm down, have a cup of Ovaltine, watch Piers Morgan talk shit on TV, before changing the channel and getting riled by some other trivial matter, which sends them into another inarticulate ramble- devoid of any substance or sense.
For the fickle ‘complaint’s committee’ will undoubtedly soon find something else to moan about, and will once again mount their high horse and embark upon another hysteria fuelled moral crusade about some other non-event or incident.
Until such times, One Direction will have to endure the storm from the thousands of neurotic parents and ‘children’s groups’ who are already clambering onto the carousel of self righteousness in order to condemn the boys for their ‘irresponsible and stupid’ behaviour.
However, in the interest of objectivity, I will attempt to balance the criticism they are receiving, and counter it with my conviction that they deserve massive credit for being able to go out and perform in front of 40,000 screaming, pre-pubescent teens, while baked out their tits.
Whenever I have smoke joints in the past, all I’ve wanted to do is eat Ben Jerry’s and watch Curb Your Enthusiasm. Give credit where credit is due, eh?
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